my dirty little secrets.
Monday, March 29, 2004
[stressed]
only the first day of the week.
n how u xpect me to survive 6 more days?
sighs.was feeling good wn i went to sch.
not until sir came.
n the sky collapsed on me.
he scolded me twice.
b4 lessons.n durin my recess.
wth lor.etime wn it sth is wrong.
it my fault.
n im not even the captain or wadsoeverrr.
please.i need freedom.
how terrible his shouts at me were.
n in front of sec 1s somemore.
its not abt maluating rite now.
the factt is that i dun deserve tis treatment.
yeahh.b4 lessons wasnt tt bad.
cos it was kinda quick.
den wth.durin my recess.
was lik 10++ min long?? =/
heyy.its not as if im strong.
n can juss pretend he din say atg kies..
u all jolly well know how fragile i am.
tho i may seem strong to ya.
the truth is..i cant accept all these.
really too harsh for me to take it.
sir blared at me SO fiercely.
cld hear my heart thumping away.
all thoese tgs he said.
i remember as clear as water.
serious.word for word.
esp one sentence.
i'll never forget.tt make me break down aft his scoldings.
and made me hide in the bloody toilet for 5 mins.
whose fault??mine u shall say.
fine lar.
im to blame for all tts happening to trackk watt.
but do u all reli tink i am??
come back to sch.
face sir.stress.pressure.ntg else.
going bonkers the way tgs are.
so hard to face reality.
sir reli made me broken hearted.
like yeahh.all thoese threats and etg.
so horriblle.
"DISAPPOINTED IN ME"
he said it.
n i cld feel a stabb in my heart almost right away.
so wad if i've been committed to track all these while.??
wads the bloodly point.
when each freaking day i face wif more scoldings.
i dun like it this way seriously.
i rather b some unknown freaks.
yeahh.he's giving me so much stress.
he just doesnt know.
that wad he said actually meant alot to me...
totalyy knocked me out of my moods to study.
daydreaming all lessons aft.
distracted.mind swirling.
dunnoe how to straighten my thots.
yeshh.since he clearly stated tt i've already let him down.
fine.fine.fine.
so be it.its my fault wadd.
just hafta remain tt cheery me.
who classmates tink im lame and crappy.
who toks ntg but nonsense.
smiles all day.yeah.shall cont tt way =/
trained aft sch wif nicole.
canal.looked in.
slowed pace damn alot.
too much tgs in my head.
wished i din exist.
wished for alot of tgs.
all negative.not one tt's even positive.
arghs.wadeverrr.thats just me n me.
sat at red table.
whole day so upset.
den must still kana hit by the softball.
totally seeing stars.
but well.i dont blame em.
just my business for stitting dere.
so painful..
tears started to trickle.
din know if it was cos of the ball or sir..
but i just hata cover it fr my frens.
obv i dowanan let em noe.
aiyahs.wadeverrr lar.
monday sucks.
so does every other day.
as long as im living a life of my own.
perhaps i wld feel true happiness.
wishing my mood eday cld b lik yest.
so bangg.sighs.
but the truth is.its impossible.
cos life just full of ups n downs.
ahwells.i accpect face.
but i dont dare to face realityy.
wadever.screwed i am.
only the first day of the week.
n how u xpect me to survive 6 more days?
sighs.was feeling good wn i went to sch.
not until sir came.
n the sky collapsed on me.
he scolded me twice.
b4 lessons.n durin my recess.
wth lor.etime wn it sth is wrong.
it my fault.
n im not even the captain or wadsoeverrr.
please.i need freedom.
how terrible his shouts at me were.
n in front of sec 1s somemore.
its not abt maluating rite now.
the factt is that i dun deserve tis treatment.
yeahh.b4 lessons wasnt tt bad.
cos it was kinda quick.
den wth.durin my recess.
was lik 10++ min long?? =/
heyy.its not as if im strong.
n can juss pretend he din say atg kies..
u all jolly well know how fragile i am.
tho i may seem strong to ya.
the truth is..i cant accept all these.
really too harsh for me to take it.
sir blared at me SO fiercely.
cld hear my heart thumping away.
all thoese tgs he said.
i remember as clear as water.
serious.word for word.
esp one sentence.
i'll never forget.tt make me break down aft his scoldings.
and made me hide in the bloody toilet for 5 mins.
whose fault??mine u shall say.
fine lar.
im to blame for all tts happening to trackk watt.
but do u all reli tink i am??
come back to sch.
face sir.stress.pressure.ntg else.
going bonkers the way tgs are.
so hard to face reality.
sir reli made me broken hearted.
like yeahh.all thoese threats and etg.
so horriblle.
"DISAPPOINTED IN ME"
he said it.
n i cld feel a stabb in my heart almost right away.
so wad if i've been committed to track all these while.??
wads the bloodly point.
when each freaking day i face wif more scoldings.
i dun like it this way seriously.
i rather b some unknown freaks.
yeahh.he's giving me so much stress.
he just doesnt know.
that wad he said actually meant alot to me...
totalyy knocked me out of my moods to study.
daydreaming all lessons aft.
distracted.mind swirling.
dunnoe how to straighten my thots.
yeshh.since he clearly stated tt i've already let him down.
fine.fine.fine.
so be it.its my fault wadd.
just hafta remain tt cheery me.
who classmates tink im lame and crappy.
who toks ntg but nonsense.
smiles all day.yeah.shall cont tt way =/
trained aft sch wif nicole.
canal.looked in.
slowed pace damn alot.
too much tgs in my head.
wished i din exist.
wished for alot of tgs.
all negative.not one tt's even positive.
arghs.wadeverrr.thats just me n me.
sat at red table.
whole day so upset.
den must still kana hit by the softball.
totally seeing stars.
but well.i dont blame em.
just my business for stitting dere.
so painful..
tears started to trickle.
din know if it was cos of the ball or sir..
but i just hata cover it fr my frens.
obv i dowanan let em noe.
aiyahs.wadeverrr lar.
monday sucks.
so does every other day.
as long as im living a life of my own.
perhaps i wld feel true happiness.
wishing my mood eday cld b lik yest.
so bangg.sighs.
but the truth is.its impossible.
cos life just full of ups n downs.
ahwells.i accpect face.
but i dont dare to face realityy.
wadever.
the girl next door;
Sunday, March 28, 2004
i won my PB!!!by 10 whole sec!!!
ahhh..so happies man.
goodness. :)
harhar.4 by 8 today was good.
as in good experience.
got 4th.wasnt bad at all.
heh.well done peeps!
ohh.must congratulate 4 by 4 runners
cos they got 3rd!!!
harharhar.
and 4 by 8 b div.2nd.
lala.crez track rocks.heehee
sph relays so funn.
gees.yeshh
im mad le.totally went into a cranky mood aft my race.
ask nicole for proof.harhar :P
mms.juz ate chicken chop.
n lemme tell u how dumb i am.
as in.yeahh.totally amluated myself.eeks.
went to hawker centre.
den had craving.
so ordered chicken chop.
heh.searched my wallet.realised only had $3.
which is short of $1.
so i quickly cancelled my order.
n the uncle was lik "short of money?"
ohmyyy.cld feel my face turning red lor.
den i walked away.paiseh. =/
n ltr.realised i had $4.50.
harharhar.so i walked back to the stall.
n ordered agn.
heehee.the uncle made fun of me some more lor.
den say next time no money can always pay ltr.
since i stayed so near.
harhar :) tell u.it was reli damn malu lor.
n i was wearin pe shirt somemore.
harhar.bad reputation le. :S
arghs.wadeverrr lar.
seriously tink i put on at least 5kg.
yest still go fish n company.
heheheh.had tummy...ooops.
not gonna say it.
so nicole u ebtter shuddup too!
harhar.
k.in 2 years time.
i WILL b 50kg.
n its possible nicole..
harhar =)
ahhh..so happies man.
goodness. :)
harhar.4 by 8 today was good.
as in good experience.
got 4th.wasnt bad at all.
heh.well done peeps!
ohh.must congratulate 4 by 4 runners
cos they got 3rd!!!
harharhar.
and 4 by 8 b div.2nd.
lala.crez track rocks.heehee
sph relays so funn.
gees.yeshh
im mad le.totally went into a cranky mood aft my race.
ask nicole for proof.harhar :P
mms.juz ate chicken chop.
n lemme tell u how dumb i am.
as in.yeahh.totally amluated myself.eeks.
went to hawker centre.
den had craving.
so ordered chicken chop.
heh.searched my wallet.realised only had $3.
which is short of $1.
so i quickly cancelled my order.
n the uncle was lik "short of money?"
ohmyyy.cld feel my face turning red lor.
den i walked away.paiseh. =/
n ltr.realised i had $4.50.
harharhar.so i walked back to the stall.
n ordered agn.
heehee.the uncle made fun of me some more lor.
den say next time no money can always pay ltr.
since i stayed so near.
harhar :) tell u.it was reli damn malu lor.
n i was wearin pe shirt somemore.
harhar.bad reputation le. :S
arghs.wadeverrr lar.
seriously tink i put on at least 5kg.
yest still go fish n company.
heheheh.had tummy...ooops.
not gonna say it.
so nicole u ebtter shuddup too!
harhar.
k.in 2 years time.
i WILL b 50kg.
n its possible nicole..
harhar =)
the girl next door;
Friday, March 26, 2004
this wk was quite alrrite.
mon and tues were the down days
and the others were up?
okay larhs.
but tues n wed i ws just maluing myself onli
bleaghs.dancing arnd wif ncole
heh.my beautiful dancee.
anyways.
todays like a bt dull yet colour.
heh.i noe this contridices.
ahh.nvm.
had homec test
shant say my cakes were nice or wadd.
but its just okay larhh
n sz n i were 2 kind sould who donated all our earnings.
whee =) nice ple i must say
den had debate.my teams turn
cme shoud be made compulsory in schools.
my grp opposed tt.
yupp.wasnt tt scared.till i sat on the chair.
hee.my classmates said i looked damn serious le.
-too scary =// heh. esp since i dun smile.
hahhha.wadeverr.they won anyway. ;)
chinese=gouci.boring as usual.eeks.
den sci.even worst.cos e time just ticks so slowly.
n it was bloody hell hot.
so i took off my tie for a whhile only.
changed classrooms.
seriously HATE the g blobks clasess.
gross.dirty lik atg.
not a place condusive for studying.
goodness.y must we be there? tian..
-grouchy-
started mood swinging aft sch.bleahx.
comaplined to calissa.heh.
cos she STOLE my lovely classrm. :P
arghs.den sir tok to me.nic.sock.
supposed to b wif mq n leticia oso.
but they din turned up.
n i cld tell sir was indeed furious.
n he summarized etg in a sent.
cince he din wanna waste his breath cs not all were present.
wadeverr-juz tt few words n i felt my heart shattering.
god.
dampened my spirits even moreee.
sad i must say.
first time im feeling this way towards a comp.
eeks.hate it.lik atg.sph relays.all ur fault.
idiotttt..arghs.damn fan lar.
yeah.
tok to hb.den jie.
hb cld sense my tears were almost abt to dropp.
blahh.sorry. =/
at least nv break down in front of u
i did it at home.
yahhs.stimes.i reli tink sir not fair.
aiyoh.wadever lar.pissed i shall say.
fact is i dun even wana run.
wld rather sumone better take over me.
cos i know i dun derseve to b in the team.
for 4 by 800 tis sat.yupp.
i know im not capable enuff.
wld only cause the team to lose.goshh.
upset.depressed.stressed.
im tired.n i reli had enuff
i admit i cant cope.
while e1 tinks im so pro.
hanlding so many friggin commitments.
one day.will really fall to my knees.
i know i wun succeed in life.
its just to hard.
so sleepy.eye bags.sighs.all thanks to the stress.
think im gonna fail all my subs for mids.
i know i wun do well.
dont haf any confidence let agn.
biangx.demoraelised.
been piggin away.
yeah.but i din eat recess or lunch.
just sweet sugary stuff.
2 cupcakes.
marshmallows
lasted me for quite sum time.
den starting suckin skittles.
arghs.just to eat till i dropp dead.
den i will not have to face reality.
s o h a r d t o a c c e p t t h e f a c t i a m i n d e e d a f a i l u r e o f a l l
mon and tues were the down days
and the others were up?
okay larhs.
but tues n wed i ws just maluing myself onli
bleaghs.dancing arnd wif ncole
heh.my beautiful dancee.
anyways.
todays like a bt dull yet colour.
heh.i noe this contridices.
ahh.nvm.
had homec test
shant say my cakes were nice or wadd.
but its just okay larhh
n sz n i were 2 kind sould who donated all our earnings.
whee =) nice ple i must say
den had debate.my teams turn
cme shoud be made compulsory in schools.
my grp opposed tt.
yupp.wasnt tt scared.till i sat on the chair.
hee.my classmates said i looked damn serious le.
-too scary =// heh. esp since i dun smile.
hahhha.wadeverr.they won anyway. ;)
chinese=gouci.boring as usual.eeks.
den sci.even worst.cos e time just ticks so slowly.
n it was bloody hell hot.
so i took off my tie for a whhile only.
changed classrooms.
seriously HATE the g blobks clasess.
gross.dirty lik atg.
not a place condusive for studying.
goodness.y must we be there? tian..
-grouchy-
started mood swinging aft sch.bleahx.
comaplined to calissa.heh.
cos she STOLE my lovely classrm. :P
arghs.den sir tok to me.nic.sock.
supposed to b wif mq n leticia oso.
but they din turned up.
n i cld tell sir was indeed furious.
n he summarized etg in a sent.
cince he din wanna waste his breath cs not all were present.
wadeverr-juz tt few words n i felt my heart shattering.
god.
dampened my spirits even moreee.
sad i must say.
first time im feeling this way towards a comp.
eeks.hate it.lik atg.sph relays.all ur fault.
idiotttt..arghs.damn fan lar.
yeah.
tok to hb.den jie.
hb cld sense my tears were almost abt to dropp.
blahh.sorry. =/
at least nv break down in front of u
i did it at home.
yahhs.stimes.i reli tink sir not fair.
aiyoh.wadever lar.pissed i shall say.
fact is i dun even wana run.
wld rather sumone better take over me.
cos i know i dun derseve to b in the team.
for 4 by 800 tis sat.yupp.
i know im not capable enuff.
wld only cause the team to lose.goshh.
upset.depressed.stressed.
im tired.n i reli had enuff
i admit i cant cope.
while e1 tinks im so pro.
hanlding so many friggin commitments.
one day.will really fall to my knees.
i know i wun succeed in life.
its just to hard.
so sleepy.eye bags.sighs.all thanks to the stress.
think im gonna fail all my subs for mids.
i know i wun do well.
dont haf any confidence let agn.
biangx.demoraelised.
been piggin away.
yeah.but i din eat recess or lunch.
just sweet sugary stuff.
2 cupcakes.
marshmallows
lasted me for quite sum time.
den starting suckin skittles.
arghs.just to eat till i dropp dead.
den i will not have to face reality.
s o h a r d t o a c c e p t t h e f a c t i a m i n d e e d a f a i l u r e o f a l l
the girl next door;
Monday, March 22, 2004
lost.completely.
in a state of confusion=turmoil tt is.
sighs.so alone.
depressions looms byy.
i really got no idea why.
so fan.but no idea hu to turn to.
my mind swirling
too many tgs im thinkin of.
i just need sum1 by my side ritee now.
sobs.suddenly feel lik givin up etg.
all my posts and yeahh.ALL
dunno y.i feel the stress agn.
cos im backk to schh
not feeling good.bleahx.
upsett.saddening.
affected my baking of the cakes.
haiyohs. =(
there's only a tg left in my head.
that is--- FAILURE
shi bai..yessh.i know i am one.
i cant cont surving the way i do ritee now.
its just too terrible.
but at least i succeed in makin my fren believing im fine :)
no doubts or atg.good.
but do i really have friends??
sometimes.i think i dont...
[screwed]
in a state of confusion=turmoil tt is.
sighs.so alone.
depressions looms byy.
i really got no idea why.
so fan.but no idea hu to turn to.
my mind swirling
too many tgs im thinkin of.
i just need sum1 by my side ritee now.
sobs.suddenly feel lik givin up etg.
all my posts and yeahh.ALL
dunno y.i feel the stress agn.
cos im backk to schh
not feeling good.bleahx.
upsett.saddening.
affected my baking of the cakes.
haiyohs. =(
there's only a tg left in my head.
that is--- FAILURE
shi bai..yessh.i know i am one.
i cant cont surving the way i do ritee now.
its just too terrible.
but at least i succeed in makin my fren believing im fine :)
no doubts or atg.good.
but do i really have friends??
sometimes.i think i dont...
[screwed]
the girl next door;
Sunday, March 21, 2004
no one even bothered to tell me wad i missed out in art.
tt day nats.went off earlier.
not a single soul told me i had to do the portfolio.
on a famous artist.
3 weeks already.
luckily nicole told me.
else i reli tink i wld just die.
mrs tan wld just scold me.
yeahh.all thanks to my frens lar.
sighs.dont reli blame em
just myself.
cos i havent beena good fren either.
n perhaps i din ask
thats y e1 din bother tellin em too.
arghs.wadeverr
at least now i know.
all thanks to nic.=)
yupp.haix.nvmmm..
and oh yahh.spikey gonna b mine today!!!
harhar =D whee
the girl next door;
Saturday, March 20, 2004
ahh.im in love!!!!
yeah.with spikey.oh my.
i cant believe this.
totally love at ifrst sight.
my heart was beatin so fastt.
hahahahah.i need..
heh.now i know what its lik to love.
whee.=)
too chio lers.
harhar.
i've been thinkin abt it since i saw..
arghs.totally got distracted by it.
heehee.
really love it lor.
sighs.
must be mine.
i dun care.i want spikey!!!
sobs.
if only i had spikey by my side now.
ahhh.
i need spikey!!!!
iloveyou.
yeah.with spikey.oh my.
i cant believe this.
totally love at ifrst sight.
my heart was beatin so fastt.
hahahahah.i need..
heh.now i know what its lik to love.
whee.=)
too chio lers.
harhar.
i've been thinkin abt it since i saw..
arghs.totally got distracted by it.
heehee.
really love it lor.
sighs.
must be mine.
i dun care.i want spikey!!!
sobs.
if only i had spikey by my side now.
ahhh.
i need spikey!!!!
iloveyou.
the girl next door;
Friday, March 19, 2004
just came back from jamie's hse
yupp.had pbl..
den did research.powerpoint.
n we had a so called interview thru the phone.
wif furama hotel.
heh.damn funny.
cos we got pulled thru many extensions.
yeahh.so dere was much laughther n joy
n jam n laurel started sayin abt my hairrr.
hmpff.so mean =P
but nvm.used to it lers.
harhar.at least its straighter today!!!
and nicole gave me hershey chocoS!
heehee.she's sucha nice gurl =D
n yesshh.
we broke a procelin plate.
in the process of bakin pizzas.
and we were laughin away.
cos 250 celsius was too hot a temp to cook it.
ahhwell.nvm.
we ate 3 pizzas anw.
had so much funn piggin away.
all the chips and pepsi.
tink im gonna put on 5kg!
haah.so exaggeratingg.
mms.and anna brought along her cakes..
yeahh.chocoalte cupcakes.
tasted quite alrites lar.
but jamie says the icing wasnt nice.heh
orange and lemon.
colour looks like butter.
hahha.i so mean.sorry anna!!
anyways.
we wrote our script for sth
den yeahh.was deciding btwn j n i
who shall be the duaghter n the tour guide.
heh..
tink today was superr wackky. =)
after laurel n anna left.
j n i were playin blaster ball.
harhar.so scary kaes
make us scream lik atg.
her dad must haf tot we were mad.
geez.the ball superr fast.
hittin all the blockss.
and whne one was left.
it looked as tho it wassperms tryin to get 2 the egg
harhar.thats is censored. ;)
kayy.so funnky.whee.
nextt time must go back her hse agnn
hahaha..
but shes all alone now i tink..
harhar.winks
yupp.had pbl..
den did research.powerpoint.
n we had a so called interview thru the phone.
wif furama hotel.
heh.damn funny.
cos we got pulled thru many extensions.
yeahh.so dere was much laughther n joy
n jam n laurel started sayin abt my hairrr.
hmpff.so mean =P
but nvm.used to it lers.
harhar.at least its straighter today!!!
and nicole gave me hershey chocoS!
heehee.she's sucha nice gurl =D
n yesshh.
we broke a procelin plate.
in the process of bakin pizzas.
and we were laughin away.
cos 250 celsius was too hot a temp to cook it.
ahhwell.nvm.
we ate 3 pizzas anw.
had so much funn piggin away.
all the chips and pepsi.
tink im gonna put on 5kg!
haah.so exaggeratingg.
mms.and anna brought along her cakes..
yeahh.chocoalte cupcakes.
tasted quite alrites lar.
but jamie says the icing wasnt nice.heh
orange and lemon.
colour looks like butter.
hahha.i so mean.sorry anna!!
anyways.
we wrote our script for sth
den yeahh.was deciding btwn j n i
who shall be the duaghter n the tour guide.
heh..
tink today was superr wackky. =)
after laurel n anna left.
j n i were playin blaster ball.
harhar.so scary kaes
make us scream lik atg.
her dad must haf tot we were mad.
geez.the ball superr fast.
hittin all the blockss.
and whne one was left.
it looked as tho it was
harhar.thats is censored. ;)
kayy.so funnky.whee.
nextt time must go back her hse agnn
hahaha..
but shes all alone now i tink..
harhar.winks
the girl next door;
had a great time towning yesterday!
=) harhar.damn fun
go out wif jie always very bang one.
hee.so long never talk to her.
den yest finally got teh chance.heh.
din exactly buy alot of tgs.
mostly was for nicole.
hahha.she better b grateful.
*winks* yupp
saw lotsa crescentians.
but all in hm clothes.
n we were e extra ones in sch u
bleaghs.ahh.nvm.
n guess who we saw?!
MRS DORCAS LAI!!!
are we lucky or wadd? =/
i was damn shocked to see her in wisma lor.
super freaky.
almost choked on my fish mcdippers.
harharh =D
roamed abt till 4+
yeahh.den took neos
harhar.its was chao funny.
cos jie vey slow..
den decorate half way times up le
gees.so the chio chio pic had an ugly bg.
=S n i was complaining the whole way home.
arghs!! nvm.at least we had fun..
n we promised?? to go queensway one day.
cos she has to get her shoebag n spikes.
yeah.but must wait till the next hol
which is like how longg?? eeks.
ohwells..
later in the nite.
when i was abt to slp..
jie came home after work.
den talked to me.for abt half an hr.
yupp.she told me abt HER stress.
told me to cherish school life.
cos working sucks.
but yet i feel tt studyin is a bore.
but well.guess its not true.
working life is even worst.
jie still has to juggle teaching n working.
biang.she so busy lor..
sighs..
tink i shudd start studyin hard from now.
hols gonna over le.
yet i tink i;ve been so super slack.
while others are studyin most of the time.
i will be laggin away.
bleahs..
=) harhar.damn fun
go out wif jie always very bang one.
hee.so long never talk to her.
den yest finally got teh chance.heh.
din exactly buy alot of tgs.
mostly was for nicole.
hahha.she better b grateful.
*winks* yupp
saw lotsa crescentians.
but all in hm clothes.
n we were e extra ones in sch u
bleaghs.ahh.nvm.
n guess who we saw?!
MRS DORCAS LAI!!!
are we lucky or wadd? =/
i was damn shocked to see her in wisma lor.
super freaky.
almost choked on my fish mcdippers.
harharh =D
roamed abt till 4+
yeahh.den took neos
harhar.its was chao funny.
cos jie vey slow..
den decorate half way times up le
gees.so the chio chio pic had an ugly bg.
=S n i was complaining the whole way home.
arghs!! nvm.at least we had fun..
n we promised?? to go queensway one day.
cos she has to get her shoebag n spikes.
yeah.but must wait till the next hol
which is like how longg?? eeks.
ohwells..
later in the nite.
when i was abt to slp..
jie came home after work.
den talked to me.for abt half an hr.
yupp.she told me abt HER stress.
told me to cherish school life.
cos working sucks.
but yet i feel tt studyin is a bore.
but well.guess its not true.
working life is even worst.
jie still has to juggle teaching n working.
biang.she so busy lor..
sighs..
tink i shudd start studyin hard from now.
hols gonna over le.
yet i tink i;ve been so super slack.
while others are studyin most of the time.
i will be laggin away.
bleahs..
the girl next door;
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
i lostt my preciouss blue pen.
aww. =( im damn firggin sadd.
boohoohoo.
determined to find it.arghs.
ohyah.i wanna apologise.
to all the sec 2 trackkers
really sorry hor.
i never inform u abt trng yest.
at serangoon.
make u all tink its 2day as usual.
so so so sorry.
never knew u all wld make tt extra trip down.
yeshh.sorry.my fault.
i forgotten to call u all.
now i so guilty.
cos sum of u made a futile trip to queenstwn.
im sorry yeahh?
next time i will call u all.
yupp.SORRY =/
aww. =( im damn firggin sadd.
boohoohoo.
determined to find it.arghs.
ohyah.i wanna apologise.
to all the sec 2 trackkers
really sorry hor.
i never inform u abt trng yest.
at serangoon.
make u all tink its 2day as usual.
so so so sorry.
never knew u all wld make tt extra trip down.
yeshh.sorry.my fault.
i forgotten to call u all.
now i so guilty.
cos sum of u made a futile trip to queenstwn.
im sorry yeahh?
next time i will call u all.
yupp.SORRY =/
the girl next door;
Sunday, March 14, 2004
HIEE!!
hehe.im in this crappy mood.
cos im back on trackk!woo~
went for trgn yesterday.
damn bang.tho the workout wasnt
and the weather was totally bleahhs.
heh.but i still enjoyed it ;)
cos teh feeling of runign is GREATT
harhar.after a week of complete restt.
yeshh.but i still have the fear of having hyperventilation agn.
esp whne running 400m.
cos i'll never forget tt very moment.
doctor already said i'll have side effects.
so its safer not to do strenuos running.
yupp.but do u tink i care??
nonono.cos if i dun run.
i willl really just die lor.
gees.trackk is fun okies.
harhar.im going bonkers ler.
cos i suddenly fell in love if running.
aft stopping for a wk.i missed in damn alot. =)
ohwells.at least i has a sense of accomplishment.
after the 600m, 300m*9.hur!
think i haf been enjoyin myself lately.
went Swensens yest.
den jack's place the wk b4.
m i rich or wadd?
heeh.but oso not paid by me.
cos i dun feel any pain wn eating.
lalala. :)
tis entry totally so happy.
totally unlike the old me.
yess.
cos i did alott of reflections.
and i realised.
in life, we shudd just take tgs lightly.
dun always so sad.
cos of failures.
take failures the stepping stones to success.
its unavoidable u noe.
hahh.wonder wad has gotten into me.
suddenly so hyperr n etg.
no more depression.
or least i hope so.
cos we MUST
live each day as tho its gonna be our last,
cos one day we are gonna be right.
cherish each day.
be it happy or sad.
dun keep broodin over the past.
cos u all noe.its history.
and u can NEVER turn back time.
life just full of obstacles.
just like hurdles.
whtr u can get passs it successfully,
its another thing.
we must try our best in etg.
if u have failed.
u know sth is wrong.
either u have not put enuff effort,
or u handled it a wrong wayy.
yupps.
im suddenly givng all these insiprational tok?!?
=//
i cant understadn myself.
ahh.nemind.
take tgs as it goes.heeheehee.
yeah.i hate my hairrr.
grrr.so awful i tell u.
just rather irritatated.
but as i said.i gotta be HAPPY!
must learn to relaxed.
hols are here.
more freedom.
can use tis time to study.
cos aiya.my reults so yucks.
how low can it get..
tsk.nvm.
kidna determined to study hard.
cant afford to slack anymore.
i also know its an impt yearr.
so yupp.
lets work hard tgt yeahh?
den in 2 years time.
we[as in e sec 2s 2004] can do crescent proud!!
hurhur.
i told u im in a crappy mood already. =D
hehe.im in this crappy mood.
cos im back on trackk!woo~
went for trgn yesterday.
damn bang.tho the workout wasnt
and the weather was totally bleahhs.
heh.but i still enjoyed it ;)
cos teh feeling of runign is GREATT
harhar.after a week of complete restt.
yeshh.but i still have the fear of having hyperventilation agn.
esp whne running 400m.
cos i'll never forget tt very moment.
doctor already said i'll have side effects.
so its safer not to do strenuos running.
yupp.but do u tink i care??
nonono.cos if i dun run.
i willl really just die lor.
gees.trackk is fun okies.
harhar.im going bonkers ler.
cos i suddenly fell in love if running.
aft stopping for a wk.i missed in damn alot. =)
ohwells.at least i has a sense of accomplishment.
after the 600m, 300m*9.hur!
think i haf been enjoyin myself lately.
went Swensens yest.
den jack's place the wk b4.
m i rich or wadd?
heeh.but oso not paid by me.
cos i dun feel any pain wn eating.
lalala. :)
tis entry totally so happy.
totally unlike the old me.
yess.
cos i did alott of reflections.
and i realised.
in life, we shudd just take tgs lightly.
dun always so sad.
cos of failures.
take failures the stepping stones to success.
its unavoidable u noe.
hahh.wonder wad has gotten into me.
suddenly so hyperr n etg.
no more depression.
or least i hope so.
cos we MUST
live each day as tho its gonna be our last,
cos one day we are gonna be right.
cherish each day.
be it happy or sad.
dun keep broodin over the past.
cos u all noe.its history.
and u can NEVER turn back time.
life just full of obstacles.
just like hurdles.
whtr u can get passs it successfully,
its another thing.
we must try our best in etg.
if u have failed.
u know sth is wrong.
either u have not put enuff effort,
or u handled it a wrong wayy.
yupps.
im suddenly givng all these insiprational tok?!?
=//
i cant understadn myself.
ahh.nemind.
take tgs as it goes.heeheehee.
yeah.i hate my hairrr.
grrr.so awful i tell u.
just rather irritatated.
but as i said.i gotta be HAPPY!
must learn to relaxed.
hols are here.
more freedom.
can use tis time to study.
cos aiya.my reults so yucks.
how low can it get..
tsk.nvm.
kidna determined to study hard.
cant afford to slack anymore.
i also know its an impt yearr.
so yupp.
lets work hard tgt yeahh?
den in 2 years time.
we[as in e sec 2s 2004] can do crescent proud!!
hurhur.
i told u im in a crappy mood already. =D
the girl next door;
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
got back ct results.
think mine sucked like atg this term.
biangx.
totally from A1 to D8 lor.
wtf.guess u haf been slaacking damn alott
but the truth is that
i really studied hard this time round.
but yet im proven wrong.
n tt i cant do well..
so saddeninggg.
please.really wish to fly free from sorrows.
hate my resultss.
dunno how to let my parents noe.
but its just tt i let too many ple down.
cries. ='(
think mine sucked like atg this term.
biangx.
totally from A1 to D8 lor.
wtf.guess u haf been slaacking damn alott
but the truth is that
i really studied hard this time round.
but yet im proven wrong.
n tt i cant do well..
so saddeninggg.
please.really wish to fly free from sorrows.
hate my resultss.
dunno how to let my parents noe.
but its just tt i let too many ple down.
cries. ='(
the girl next door;
Monday, March 08, 2004
i know u ple have been praying hard for me to recover.
thanks alott.
really love u ple.
but parhaps its no use wasting time over me.
caring so much for me.
even crying for me.
i havent been a good fren at all.
really got no idea how to show u all my gratitute
u all done so much for me.
very touched.
moved to tears.
but i wonder if i derserve all ur love.
all these time,
i've done ntg but failed.
only to let a million ple down.
btu yet u ple still showed ur concern.
even wanted to visit me.
but im afraid to say.
im nt sucha great fren.
im just that useless ME
thanks alott.
really love u ple.
but parhaps its no use wasting time over me.
caring so much for me.
even crying for me.
i havent been a good fren at all.
really got no idea how to show u all my gratitute
u all done so much for me.
very touched.
moved to tears.
but i wonder if i derserve all ur love.
all these time,
i've done ntg but failed.
only to let a million ple down.
btu yet u ple still showed ur concern.
even wanted to visit me.
but im afraid to say.
im nt sucha great fren.
im just that useless ME
the girl next door;
stuck at home ritte now.
rotting away.wn ple havin lessons at sch.
yucks.but i was being guai.
heh.studied ever sicne i woke up.
den sir called.heheh.
still having flu n cough.
wah.quite bad.
but i dun care.
tmr i am going to school!!!!
cant afford to lose wad tchers says.
cos im DUMB enuff.
n got lotsa catching upp to do.
yessh.
n im feeling soo cold now!
arghs-
realise bella was in the same ward as me on fri nite.
so cool.
but i din noe.till she told me.
wahh.i cld have visited her.
at least she was the only fren i cld c in e hospital.
whee.kay.so lame.
God is nice.
He has been crying with me the whole morning.
till now.its still raining.
wow.He's probably takin pity on me.
ehehe.
very sad.i cannot meet expectaions.
boohoohoo.
no more triple science for me ler.
sighs.nvm.
i will work hard.
strating fromNOWWW!
yess.i mean it lehs.
cos its barely 3 months.
n there has been ntg BUT failures
setbackks.obstacles.
damn depressing.
i just wanna do well only lor.
in studies and trackk.
but now.i cant even train.
n i doubt mrswong gonna let me compete this wed.
i surely haftaface wif all the crapp.
bcos of the damn HYPERVENTILATION
im sure ple wld take extra care.
precautions.
this cant do.that cant do.
biangx.misery for me mans.
hate this treatment.
cos i feel i dun derserve all these at all.
lost my appetite.
past few meals all never finish my food.
etg taste bland to me.
yes.to a sickk person lik me.
whole day eat sweets only.
cos tt's the only tg tt tastes good!
heehee.dun care abt my coughh.
so so sadd.
been thinking hellalot.
why my grades have dropped tremendously??
yeah.tgs not going in my way.
ii already noe.
but the fact is i studied realy realy hard.
for this common test
den my results seems as tho i nvr studies at all.
perhaps i tackled the qns the wrong way.
probably-
so now is teh time for me to start the race all over agn.
there is still time.
yesh.i really determined to work hard.
for teh sake of myself.n everybody else.
i let down too many ple already.
cant afford to lose agn.
altho i tried my best always.
noone seemed to be there.
during my hardest time.
sigh.but i know i've got no one to blame.
cept myself.
cos im just the failure.
that everyone knows...
sorry.
i think i let myself down the most. =(
[hard work dun seem to pay off]
rotting away.wn ple havin lessons at sch.
yucks.but i was being guai.
heh.studied ever sicne i woke up.
den sir called.heheh.
still having flu n cough.
wah.quite bad.
but i dun care.
tmr i am going to school!!!!
cant afford to lose wad tchers says.
cos im DUMB enuff.
n got lotsa catching upp to do.
yessh.
n im feeling soo cold now!
arghs-
realise bella was in the same ward as me on fri nite.
so cool.
but i din noe.till she told me.
wahh.i cld have visited her.
at least she was the only fren i cld c in e hospital.
whee.kay.so lame.
God is nice.
He has been crying with me the whole morning.
till now.its still raining.
wow.He's probably takin pity on me.
ehehe.
very sad.i cannot meet expectaions.
boohoohoo.
no more triple science for me ler.
sighs.nvm.
i will work hard.
strating fromNOWWW!
yess.i mean it lehs.
cos its barely 3 months.
n there has been ntg BUT failures
setbackks.obstacles.
damn depressing.
i just wanna do well only lor.
in studies and trackk.
but now.i cant even train.
n i doubt mrswong gonna let me compete this wed.
i surely haftaface wif all the crapp.
bcos of the damn HYPERVENTILATION
im sure ple wld take extra care.
precautions.
this cant do.that cant do.
biangx.misery for me mans.
hate this treatment.
cos i feel i dun derserve all these at all.
lost my appetite.
past few meals all never finish my food.
etg taste bland to me.
yes.to a sickk person lik me.
whole day eat sweets only.
cos tt's the only tg tt tastes good!
heehee.dun care abt my coughh.
so so sadd.
been thinking hellalot.
why my grades have dropped tremendously??
yeah.tgs not going in my way.
ii already noe.
but the fact is i studied realy realy hard.
for this common test
den my results seems as tho i nvr studies at all.
perhaps i tackled the qns the wrong way.
probably-
so now is teh time for me to start the race all over agn.
there is still time.
yesh.i really determined to work hard.
for teh sake of myself.n everybody else.
i let down too many ple already.
cant afford to lose agn.
altho i tried my best always.
noone seemed to be there.
during my hardest time.
sigh.but i know i've got no one to blame.
cept myself.
cos im just the failure.
that everyone knows...
sorry.
i think i let myself down the most. =(
[hard work dun seem to pay off]
the girl next door;
Sunday, March 07, 2004
freaky week.yucks.
i mean Freaky Friday [notthe movie]
tink friday was atrocious.
sports heats.
yeah.i din get into any fianls at all.
wad a waste please.sighs.
i was not feeling well.bleah.
800m was fine.5th.not too bad larhs.
den 4by 4 was yucks.
dunno y after my race
den started to haf difficulty breathing.
damn bad..red cross ple brought me aside
yeah.den realised i gt HYPERVENTILATION
superr scaryy i tell u..
tot i was gonna die..
was gasping for air damn badly.
many ple crowded aarnd me.
made me so tensed up.
i must haf looked terrible to e1
kp tryin to open my eyes.
reli din wanna lose consciousness.
worried.
sorta regret running despite bring sickk.
but i cant turn back time.
only wanted to take part in long jump.
but cldnt.sigh.
the feeling very weird.
numbness n etg.
cheeks felt friggin sore.pain.
n wn i opened my eyes.
cldnt see atg.
yeah.n ple kept talkin to my ear..
so i juz followed advices.
dey called the ambulance.
but i din wana go to the hospital.
panicked.breathing got worst.
yeahh.crying at the same time.
too afraid lers.
n im really sorry ple.
for making all of u worried.
sorry sorry kays.
my body jus weak.
abit of strenueos exercise oso cant take.
sorry.
really guilty for havin made u ple scared =|
i shudd haf noe my limits.
shudnt have ran..
i jus tot i wld be fine.
now i know.n i landed myself in da hospital.
wad rubbish lor..
freaky place.[never going back dere]
my facce totally flushed up.
but doc says im HEALTHY.
yeah.anyways.i hata b admitted.
but i din wantt.
so i complained.n argued.
hehs.fianlly was discharged at 1240.
whee.hurhur.
and teh 5 hrs i spent there.
was all filled with tears + reflections.
many phone calls + msges.
thanks so much.
love u ple.
at least i know tt dere r ple who truly cares
thanks =))
etime sum1 called.
made me cry more.sighs.
was just being emtional larhs
sorry.making u all worried for me.
useless.u cld haf spent time doing sth else.
sighs.tink im suchaa not worth fren at all.
make ple worried for ntg.
den frens wana visit me oso cant.
bsides.i din wan em to see my in tt state.
sobs.
mstan still can joke when at teh hospital lor.
still say nex time zuo wen i can write abt life in hospital.
yucks.sure full of complains one.tsk.
tink i learnt my lessons le.[i had better]
sickk means cant run.yeah.
now i madee myself haf sum stupidd mc.-growls-
IWANNAGOFORTRNG!!!!
goshh.hyperventilation.yucks.
God probably telling me my body cant take presure.
bleah.im so sorry.
never expected this to happen.
yeahyeah.mylife just sucks.
so whoever thinks tt their life is bad.
tink of the uselesss lynette
den u know.u actually lead a GREATT life.
okies?
yeah.im just being lame.
cos my mind jus stuckk.too sad to tink abt atg else.
the number of frens hu showed their concern.
made me damn touched lor.
moved to tears.
serious de...very grateful.
yeah.tink e1 leanrt alot from me on fri.
yupp.but i still wana apologise. ='(
i really should not have ran
tink i hafta wait till next yr to get back my trophies agn.
aww.damn sad. =//
sec 2 life [mine] super horrendous.
i hate it.all downs.no ups.
wad kind of a screwed up life please.
gosh.i hate myself.
i got ntg better to do den to mk my frens worry.
stuppiddd---|!
n yea.sorry.
uhms.hb.yh.cin came visit me yest.
thanks=)
but wasnt in the bestest state.
yeah.still feeling not ok.
n guess u all rotted for an hr.
doing ntg at all.sorry! :|
but thanks for comin anw.
*muacks*
biangx.dunno how to face ple wn i return to sch lor.
yucks.tink many ple will be havin tt kind of look at me.
mytian.so malu. :S
sobsob
not as tho i care lidat lar.butbut..its just weird.
e1seen the weak side of me
can no longer ACT strong anymore.
cos dey noe the truth.
n thry know im faking all my smiles.
sigh.so so sorry.
its just very hard to get thru My kind of life.
so mixed up n etg.
n yeah.
really wana thank all those who were by my side on fri.
may not know who u are.
but u ple have been greatt.the best!
serious.thanks so much.
i really appreciated it kays.
just tt my vision was blurred.
n i cldnt see how u ple were.
but all i know
u all have helped me damn alot.
yupp.thanks.
n sorry for the ple whom i pressed ur hands so friggin hard.
was in pain. [like labour]
heh.sorry!
i mean Freaky Friday [notthe movie]
tink friday was atrocious.
sports heats.
yeah.i din get into any fianls at all.
wad a waste please.sighs.
i was not feeling well.bleah.
800m was fine.5th.not too bad larhs.
den 4by 4 was yucks.
dunno y after my race
den started to haf difficulty breathing.
damn bad..red cross ple brought me aside
yeah.den realised i gt HYPERVENTILATION
superr scaryy i tell u..
tot i was gonna die..
was gasping for air damn badly.
many ple crowded aarnd me.
made me so tensed up.
i must haf looked terrible to e1
kp tryin to open my eyes.
reli din wanna lose consciousness.
worried.
sorta regret running despite bring sickk.
but i cant turn back time.
only wanted to take part in long jump.
but cldnt.sigh.
the feeling very weird.
numbness n etg.
cheeks felt friggin sore.pain.
n wn i opened my eyes.
cldnt see atg.
yeah.n ple kept talkin to my ear..
so i juz followed advices.
dey called the ambulance.
but i din wana go to the hospital.
panicked.breathing got worst.
yeahh.crying at the same time.
too afraid lers.
n im really sorry ple.
for making all of u worried.
sorry sorry kays.
my body jus weak.
abit of strenueos exercise oso cant take.
sorry.
really guilty for havin made u ple scared =|
i shudd haf noe my limits.
shudnt have ran..
i jus tot i wld be fine.
now i know.n i landed myself in da hospital.
wad rubbish lor..
freaky place.[never going back dere]
my facce totally flushed up.
but doc says im HEALTHY.
yeah.anyways.i hata b admitted.
but i din wantt.
so i complained.n argued.
hehs.fianlly was discharged at 1240.
whee.hurhur.
and teh 5 hrs i spent there.
was all filled with tears + reflections.
many phone calls + msges.
thanks so much.
love u ple.
at least i know tt dere r ple who truly cares
thanks =))
etime sum1 called.
made me cry more.sighs.
was just being emtional larhs
sorry.making u all worried for me.
useless.u cld haf spent time doing sth else.
sighs.tink im suchaa not worth fren at all.
make ple worried for ntg.
den frens wana visit me oso cant.
bsides.i din wan em to see my in tt state.
sobs.
mstan still can joke when at teh hospital lor.
still say nex time zuo wen i can write abt life in hospital.
yucks.sure full of complains one.tsk.
tink i learnt my lessons le.[i had better]
sickk means cant run.yeah.
now i madee myself haf sum stupidd mc.-growls-
IWANNAGOFORTRNG!!!!
goshh.hyperventilation.yucks.
God probably telling me my body cant take presure.
bleah.im so sorry.
never expected this to happen.
yeahyeah.mylife just sucks.
so whoever thinks tt their life is bad.
tink of the uselesss lynette
den u know.u actually lead a GREATT life.
okies?
yeah.im just being lame.
cos my mind jus stuckk.too sad to tink abt atg else.
the number of frens hu showed their concern.
made me damn touched lor.
moved to tears.
serious de...very grateful.
yeah.tink e1 leanrt alot from me on fri.
yupp.but i still wana apologise. ='(
i really should not have ran
tink i hafta wait till next yr to get back my trophies agn.
aww.damn sad. =//
sec 2 life [mine] super horrendous.
i hate it.all downs.no ups.
wad kind of a screwed up life please.
gosh.i hate myself.
i got ntg better to do den to mk my frens worry.
stuppiddd---|!
n yea.sorry.
uhms.hb.yh.cin came visit me yest.
thanks=)
but wasnt in the bestest state.
yeah.still feeling not ok.
n guess u all rotted for an hr.
doing ntg at all.sorry! :|
but thanks for comin anw.
*muacks*
biangx.dunno how to face ple wn i return to sch lor.
yucks.tink many ple will be havin tt kind of look at me.
mytian.so malu. :S
sobsob
not as tho i care lidat lar.butbut..its just weird.
e1seen the weak side of me
can no longer ACT strong anymore.
cos dey noe the truth.
n thry know im faking all my smiles.
sigh.so so sorry.
its just very hard to get thru My kind of life.
so mixed up n etg.
n yeah.
really wana thank all those who were by my side on fri.
may not know who u are.
but u ple have been greatt.the best!
serious.thanks so much.
i really appreciated it kays.
just tt my vision was blurred.
n i cldnt see how u ple were.
but all i know
u all have helped me damn alot.
yupp.thanks.
n sorry for the ple whom i pressed ur hands so friggin hard.
was in pain. [like labour]
heh.sorry!
the girl next door;
LYNETTE ♥
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