I havent blogged in a long time because I havent really found the time to do so, and probably don't know what to blog anymore. But I suddenly have the urge to do as there's so much on my mind I just needed some avenue of ranting everything.
It's been a terrible day somehow. Dance was therapeutic, despite attaining all those bruises and aches from the turns and straight posture we must maintain. Still, contempt is fun. But I dont like the idea that I'm gonna spend my birthday night at dance practice, i am so tempted to skip that practice argh.
These few days I've been questioning my involvement in hall, I wonder if i'm too active, that I hardly got the time to study, even when I do, i am usually dead tired by then, ntg goes in so revision is not productive at all. It's so irritating when you want to study yet you just cant seem to find the time. It makes me stress knowing that I only ot that few pathetic days left to revise for 4 mid terms and im not even like 30% prepared. Now i seriously regret not keeping up right from the beginning but what can i do. No point crying over spilt milk. I was told that rather than feeling stress, I might as well channel all that energy and emotion to do smtg more productive, like proper revision. But I just dont understand why can't I seem to remember or understand anything. It makes me question myself if I made a right choice to study in Arts, smtg I never really did back in school, plus the fact I dont exactly enjoy reading makes it worst. There're so many ifs, so many reasons why i wld like to turn back time and start this all over again. I dont want to just have fun resulting in the compromise of my results. I really dont know what I can do. It's upsetting to find out that perhaps my time management skills aint as good as back then in Crescent. Or perhaps I just got my priorities wrong this time round. This sucks big time. I wish I knew how I could salvage everything, and make things become right as of this moment.
I know it's useless fretting over Mid terms, worrying that I wont do well. How I wish to remove this thought, and seriously concentrate on my revision. But as my psychology textbook says, the more you wanna remove a certain thought from your head,that thought is here to stay, how irritating. This is really terrible SIGHS I wanna run away from school and hall:( :( :(